Local Gay Group.

I was at the local gay group yesterday night.

It cheered me up after a typically irritating day. Sometimes I get that urge to slap people very, very hard. I don't though :)

Anyway, so we made a constitution, and we might be getting £10,000 to give to organisations to help them promote LGBT issues. Way cool huh?

We talked about the need of an accountant to chart where the money goes, and what comes in etc. Silly me mentioned that I've done that before, and that I know how to keep accounts, and have an accountant I can go run to if I balls it up. Looks like I'm going to be nominated for that post. Would be a lot of work to set up, but easy enough to maintain.

I also talked a bit about recent events and things. I feel better and less like it was my fault.
I don't know why, but for some reason I blamed myself for my friends reactions. The worker sorted me out though and made me realise it wasn't my fault. I still feel bad though.

I had a dream last night, I told my parents in it. It turned into a nightmare from there. I think my brain is trying to tell me something...

I think I'll just wait for now really.

After my weekend I didn't really want to come out anymore, but I managed to tell my flatmates. They seemed cool with it. I've not really seen them much today, so I don't know really.

I nearly came out to a friend today, wish I could. However after the weekend I'm a bit scared really.
Not sure what to do about that.
I've been offered counselling at the uni.

Is it that bad?? :(

I'm not sure if I'll go. I think it could help, but there is a kind of stigma to it I guess. What if someone I knew saw me? What if my lecturers found out (it's run by the uni). I mean, they might be less irritated about the practical class I missed, but would it affect my degree?
What if they think I'm crazy and tell my parents?

I can see the benefits, but my mind just keeps throwing "What if's" at me, and bad scenarios.

Anyone had experience with a counsellor, or able to answer any of these What ifs?
Be glady appreciated, I want to sort this out and be sure about my decision.

If only it was that easy...